So often we are waiting and waiting for the right moment to do something. We have learned this from life’s challenges. Lessons we have learned in life have taught us that we are very bad at timing and we have been burned, bumped, and bruised when in reflection we took action where a little anticipation or delay would have saved us the injury.
Oddly, I believe we miss the main lesson – that we are shitty at determining the timing of things – so why trust that voice that says “you better wait.” That voice is either the voice of certainty or the voice of fear. If it is a voice “in your head” and not a “feeling in your gut” there is a good chance it is nothing more than your brain doing its job – to keep your body alive. Your brain will keep you in a cave – miserable – but alive.
Wendy Davis said something once that comes immediately to mind. “You don’t need courage to face your fears, you get courage from facing your fears.” I think that was Wendy Davis – but it could have been Wendy Williams (wouldn’t it matter any differently?)
Overcome fear by doing the damn thing even though your are afraid shitless over it. (now some things we fear are worth doing more than just jumping in). Are you respecting your fear? Are you honoring it? Are you recognizing that there is nothing that you feel that is against you but of you? (this goes against the idea conditioned in your youth to be against your flesh and bones and where they lump your emotions in with that). Your fear is valid. Now, ask why is my fear valid? What is my fear communicating to me? Is it saying that this is a dumb business choice that I need to spend more time with? Is it telling me that the stick slithering across the ground is dangerous? Is it telling me that when I walk into the room everyone will start laughing at me? Some fears are purposeful, helpful while others are irrational, harmful.
Look at the thing you are afraid of. Losing your kids. Purposeful. It I imagine keeps you attentive, on guard for ways in which they could be lost, vigilant to their protection and preservation of your relationship. Chance on your business ideas. Irrational. Okay, sure that is a tough one because there are elements that are likely to be both purposeful and irrational there. So you may need to sort things out.
You are growing and while it helps to know that you can do the things that you want to do and get the result that you want (confidence) there are times that you will have to step outside of the confidence that you have and engage in utter failure. Expect to fail, at least a couple hundred dozen times.
That is how you are walking now. Do you think when you were 2 you decided . . . “okay, I’ve watched these mojo’s upright on two feet and I’m down here banging up my knees” and then just started walking around? Nope, you thought hmmmmm “they get there faster and I want to get that cookie” So, you tried it out. You most certainly fell and thankfully were close to the ground at that age that it didn’t hurt, plus your bones were a little more flexible at that age and you probably had a cushion of baby fat to break the fall (not to mention maybe a diaper still). So you went about the business of failing to walk well before you went about the business of successfully walking.
I can’t think of many other things that we set about doing that fall into this exact same category of necessitating failure. Things most definitely will go wrong (assuming you have a clear picture of what it means for them to go right). You can expect and accept that as a necessary part of getting them right.
