Relationship with your emotions, how’s it going?

What is your relationship to your emotions?

Everything in this universe is about relationships.  You are relating to everything.  The nature of which dictates your experiences.  You have a relationship with me.  To the people in the room.  To your job.  To your car.  To yourself.  To ideals. Even to this device.  

Relationship expert Esther Perls says the quality of our lives is directly related to the quality of our relationships.  She means of course relationships between people and I believe we can extend this idea towards ANY relationship. 

Reframing some of our struggles, issues, and problems through a relationship lens creates a different dialogue.  We see our phenomenological narrative from a slightly different vantage point.  Hopefully, in doing so we can produce meaningful insights.   Insights move the way we think and relate to the world around us.  This is a process of paradigm shifting. 

This article series explores commonly problematic relationships within our life domains.  My intention is offer a new paradigm for approaching problems without pathologizing our human experience.   The questions are self reflective and there is no right answer.  No grade.  Feel free to take what is useful to you and to leave behind what is not. 

Let’s look at money from two helpful perspectives. We can see how a traditional material health view and an intrapersonal relational view differ.  Both views are productive and both have value.  

To better understand your relationship to your emotions, consider exploring these questions, focusing on self-awareness, triggers, and emotional responses: 

Self-Awareness & Emotional Vocabulary:

• What words would you use to describe your typical emotional state? (e.g., calm, anxious, happy, overwhelmed) 
• When you feel a strong emotion, how does it manifest in your body? (e.g., physical sensations, changes in breathing, muscle tension) 
• What are your go-to coping mechanisms when you experience difficult emotions? (e.g., talking to someone, exercising, distracting yourself) 
• Are there specific emotions you tend to avoid or suppress? Why? 
• What are your emotional strengths and weaknesses? (e.g., ability to express emotions, managing anger, empathy) 
• How comfortable are you with vulnerability and sharing your emotions with others? 
• What are your preferred ways of expressing your emotions? (e.g., through words, actions, creative outlets) 
• What are some of your emotional needs in a relationship or friendship? (e.g., validation, support, understanding) 

Triggers & Emotional Responses:

• What are some common triggers that evoke strong emotional reactions in you? (e.g., specific people, situations, memories) 
• How do you typically react when faced with these triggers? (e.g., anger, sadness, anxiety, withdrawal) 
• What are the consequences of your emotional responses? (e.g., positive or negative impacts on your relationships, work, or well-being) 
• What are your typical patterns of emotional expression? (e.g., do you tend to internalize or externalize your emotions?) 
• When you experience a strong emotion, do you feel in control or overwhelmed? 
• How do you handle conflict and disagreement with others? (e.g., do you tend to avoid conflict, become defensive, or express your needs assertively?) 
• What are your thoughts and feelings about the role of emotions in your life? (e.g., do you see them as positive, negative, or neutral?) 
• Are there certain emotions that you feel are “acceptable” or “unacceptable” to express? Why? 

Building Emotional Intelligence:

• Are you able to identify and name the different emotions you experience? 
• Can you differentiate between your thoughts and feelings? (e.g., recognizing that “I’m feeling anxious because I’m thinking about the presentation” rather than simply “I’m anxious”) 
• Do you practice mindfulness or self-reflection to understand your emotions? 
• Do you seek support from others when you’re struggling with your emotions? 
• How do you manage your emotions in stressful situations? 
• Do you believe that emotions are a source of strength or weakness? 
• How do you see emotions impacting your relationships with others? 
• What are some steps you can take to improve your emotional intelligence and well-being? 

Reflecting on Relationships:

• How do your emotions impact your relationships with others? (e.g., do you tend to withdraw, become overly critical, or struggle to communicate effectively?) 
• How do you communicate your emotional needs to others? 
• How do you respond when others express their emotions to you? 
• Are you able to empathize with the emotions of others? 
• What are your expectations for emotional expression and support within your relationships? 
• How do you navigate differences in emotional expression between you and others? 
  

To understand your relationship with emotion as if it were a person, consider these questions that explore the dynamics of your interaction:

Getting to Know “Emotion”:

• What is your first impression of Emotion? 
  Is it a welcome presence, a chaotic force, a comforting friend, or something else entirely? 
• How does Emotion make you feel? 
  Does it bring you joy, comfort, excitement, or does it cause you distress, anxiety, or confusion? 
• What are Emotion’s strengths and weaknesses? 
  Is Emotion insightful, compassionate, powerful, or does it sometimes overwhelm you, cloud your judgment, or lead to impulsive actions? 
• What are Emotion’s needs? 
  Does Emotion need to be acknowledged, validated, expressed, or processed in a specific way? 
• What are your needs in relation to Emotion? 
  Do you need Emotion to be a source of strength, guidance, or connection, or do you need it to be managed, contained?

Exploring the Relationship:

• How do you communicate with Emotion? 
  Do you express your feelings openly, or do you tend to suppress or avoid them? 
• What are the patterns in your relationship with Emotion? 
  Do you tend to react to Emotion in predictable ways, or is your relationship characterized by a lot of ups and downs? 
• What are the triggers that bring out specific emotions? 
  Is there a particular situation, person, or thought that tends to evoke certain emotions in you? 
• How do you resolve conflicts with Emotion? 
  When you experience strong emotions, do you try to talk them out, ignore them, or express them in unhealthy ways? 
• How does Emotion impact your relationships with others? 
  Does Emotion affect your interactions with friends, family, and partners, or does it create distance or conflict? 

Deepening the Connection:

• What are Emotion’s boundaries? 
  Are there certain emotions you feel you should or shouldn’t express, or are there times when it’s appropriate to set limits on Emotion’s influence? 
• How do you manage Emotion’s intensity? 
  Are there healthy coping mechanisms you use to regulate your emotions, or do you feel overwhelmed by them? 
• What is your emotional intelligence? 
  Are you aware of your emotions, can you understand and manage them effectively, and do you have empathy for the emotions of others? 
• What are your goals for your relationship with Emotion? 
  Do you want to be more in control of your emotions, understand them better, or build a stronger, more harmonious connection? 
• How can you create a more positive and fulfilling relationship with Emotion? 
  What steps can you take to improve your emotional awareness, self-regulation, and communication with yourself? 

By approaching your relationship with emotion as a person-to-person interaction, you can gain a deeper understanding of your emotional landscape and develop healthier and more fulfilling ways to manage and engage with your.

Hopefully, you can see the difference in your answers and that in the process of answering them you have generated a new insight.  

If this was helpful please let me know and feel free to share any thoughts you might have.  Subscribe for additional article notifications on improving life experience through relationship paradigm, grappling with existential issues, and mental health counseling with David Head.  Share with friends and family by copy and pasting this link.  

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Looking forward . . .