What is your relationship to fitness?
Your brain may have just gone “my relationship with what? Which would be a normal response to an abnormal question. It forces active processing and hopefully prevents an autonomic answer.
Everything in this universe is about relationships. You are relating to everything. The nature of which dictates your experiences. You have a relationship with me. To the people in the room. To your job. To your car. To yourself. To ideals. Even to this device.
Relationship expert Esther Perle says the quality of our lives is directly related to the quality of our relationships. She means of course relationships between people and I believe we can extend this idea towards ANY relationship.
Reframing some of our struggles, issues, and problems through a relationship lens creates a different dialogue. We see our phenomenological narrative from a slightly different vantage point. Hopefully, in doing so we can produce meaningful insights. Insights move the way we think and relate to the world around us. This is a process of paradigm shifting.
This article series explores commonly problematic relationships within our life domains. My intention is offer a new paradigm for approaching problems without pathologizing our human experience. The questions are self reflective and there is no right answer. No grade. Feel free to take what is useful to you and to leave behind what is not.
Let’s look at fitness and exercise from two helpful perspectives so that we see the difference in lens from, a traditional material health view and an intrapersonal relational view. Both views are productive and both have value.
To better understand your relationship with fitness and working out, ask yourself questions like: “Why do I exercise?”, “What emotions do I associate with working out?”, “Do I feel pressure to exercise?”, “What are my biggest obstacles to staying active?”, “What activities do I genuinely enjoy doing for movement?”, “How does my exercise routine align with my overall lifestyle and goals?”, “Do I feel in control of my fitness choices?”, and “When do I feel most motivated to exercise?”.
Traditional Fitness Questions
- Motivation and Mindset:
- What are my primary reasons for exercising (health, appearance, stress relief, social)?
- Do I feel guilty when I skip workouts?
- Do I often compare myself to others at the gym?
- How does my mood change after exercise?
- Exercise Experience:
- What types of activities do I enjoy most?
- What are my favorite workout settings (gym, outdoors, home)?
- Do I find exercise challenging or relaxing?
- What are my biggest physical limitations or injuries that affect my workouts?
- Behavioral Patterns:
- How consistent is my exercise routine?
- Do I tend to over-exercise or push myself too hard?
- How do I handle setbacks or days when I don’t feel like working out?
- Do I have a plan for incorporating exercise into my busy days?
- Relationship with Body Image:
- How does exercise impact my self-esteem?
- Do I use exercise as a way to punish myself for eating unhealthy?
- Do I focus too much on achieving a specific body type?
- Social Aspects:
- Do I prefer working out alone or with others?
- How does my social circle influence my exercise habits?
- Do I feel comfortable asking for support from friends or family regarding fitness?
Remember to be honest with yourself when answering these questions. If you find that your relationship with exercise is causing significant stress or impacting your overall well-being, consider consulting a healthcare professional or a certified personal trainer for further guidance.
If you were to view your relationship with fitness like a person-to-person relationship, you could ask yourself questions like: “Do I feel supported by my fitness routine?”, “Do I feel like I’m constantly trying to please fitness, or do we have a balanced give and take?”, “How do I feel when I miss a workout – guilty, disappointed, or simply readjusting?”, “Do I celebrate our successes together, or just focus on the negatives?”
Here are a few more questions to delve deeper into your relationship with fitness:
- Commitment and Trust:
- Do I consistently show up for my workouts, even when I don’t feel like it? (Trust)
- Do I feel like I can rely on my fitness routine to help me achieve my goals? (Trust)
- Do I sometimes feel like I’m “cheating” on my fitness goals? (Lack of commitment)
- Communication and Understanding:
- Do I listen to my body’s signals about rest and recovery? (Understanding)
- Do I adjust my workout plan based on how I’m feeling physically and mentally? (Communication)
- Do I feel comfortable expressing concerns or frustrations about my fitness journey? (Open communication
- Positive Affirmation and Support:
- Do I acknowledge my progress and celebrate small wins? (Positive reinforcement)
- Do I talk to myself with encouragement and compassion during workouts? (Self-support)
- Do I feel proud of myself when I complete a challenging workout? (Self-esteem boost)
- Conflict and Resolution:
- How do I handle setbacks or injuries – do I get discouraged easily, or bounce back quickly? (Resilience)
- Do I feel guilty if I miss a workout, or do I see it as a chance to reset? (Guilt management)
- How do I resolve conflicts with my fitness routine (e.g., adjusting goals, trying new activities)? (Problem-solving)
By asking yourself these questions, you can gain valuable insights into your relationship with fitness, identify potential areas for improvement, and cultivate a healthier, more supportive dynamic with your exercise routine.
Hopefully, you can see the difference in your answers and that in the process of answering them you have generated a new insight.
If this was helpful please let me know and feel free to share any thoughts you might have. Subscribe for additional article notifications on improving life experience through relationship paradigm, grappling with existential issues, and mental health counseling with David Head. Share with friends and family by copy and pasting this link.
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